It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
