My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
