You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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