bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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