if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
