I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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