Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
