I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
