I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
