It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
