ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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