i would punch a child for taco bell
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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