sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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