I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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