Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
