He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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