just tell him i said nine months
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
