He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
