She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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