I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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