Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
