You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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