you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
