lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
