I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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