What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
