If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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