mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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