I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
