Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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