I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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