Moan for me like Helen Keller
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
