Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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