can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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