I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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