my sisters under your porch take her home
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
