the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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