addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
