what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
