Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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