It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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