I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize