look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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