oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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