Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
