I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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