I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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