I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
