I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
