I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I smell stomach acid.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
