you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
