His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
