I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Shame is for Republicans.
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