At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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