I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think i got beer on your cat.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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