I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
