so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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