fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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