I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
