I just cut my nipple shaving
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
